simplicity

“the height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.  while halfway cultivation runs to ornamentation”    -bruce lee

when i was first exposed to those words, it was as if i was splashed in the face with a bucket of ice water.  in the earlier part of my life, i sought to develop all of these different facets of my personality and interests, regardless of how far-fetched and unrelated they were to each other.  as i have aged, i now feel the need to integrate everything together, and have a greater simplicity in my life.  i don’t mean that i want to revert to a basic, rudimentary form of living without technology or anything along those lines.  rather, i want to live my life as an integrated whole, and not merely the sum of its parts.  the germans have a beautiful word for that, gestalt.

for example, vocationally, i want my work to be an extension and reflection of me.  i no longer wish to pursue a line of work simply because of a profitable payoff.  the best paying job i’ve held supported me just fine, and allowed me to accrue a fair amount of material comforts, but i really hated it.  while it was fine in the beginning, and the cash was decent (not excellent, but decent), after a few years i grew to despise the six days of the week i would go into work because i really hated that job.  i hated that i would have to go drinking every night just to “unwind” from work, and i was allowed to drink at work (i worked in service industry).  i hated that i was willing to “just settle” and be content with the permanent holding pattern my life was in.

since then i’ve learned that trading time for money in an area that does not nurture your spirit is an exercise in diminishing returns.  unless it is done out of necessity as a stepping stone to a greater goal, there is no reason to slowly kill yourself each day.  you may exist, but you are not really, truly alive.